Storm Chasing

It was just another stint of returning home from lab. But, it rained and I was on my bike (read bicycle). Something snapped. Probably buried under too many restraints and thoughts of late, the spirit within awakened. Just yesterday, it had strained at its leash and sent me on a 12-mile bike ride. Today, the weakened leash just gave way.
I was nearing my home and the rain was threatening to stop. How dare the rain stop?.... Reached home, ran upstairs, dropped off my backpack and rushed back down, grabbed the bike and set off. I started in a direction I hadn't explored much and then, I saw them. The ominous looking clouds looming over the horizon. "Yes, I am coming for you!"
The rain had thinned down to a drizzle. But, I rode on. No sign of the rain intensifying. I was starting to give up on trying to chase down the storm and was settling down to "just a ride in the rain". At that moment, the road slanted downhill. I shifted up on the gears, and was  gathering speed. And I felt it. The rain. Splattering me on the face like pinpricks. {Hear hear, you owners of bikes (read motorbikes)}. I had caught up with the storm .... or it had come for me. I rode faster and the rain pounded me. It was like a staring game. There was lightning, thunder and the storm blinked. It was exhilarating, relieving. Ahh!
Now I'm back in my room, muscles aching with sweet pain, with a hot cup of coffee writing this experience. Some experience.......
Now I know what drives those storm chasers. I did my first storm chasing...

The Problem is Choice

As Neo says in The Matrix Reloaded, the problem really is choice. At every instant, as we go by our lives, we make a choice. "Its time to get up" or "Just a few minutes more"...Coffee or tea...Wear jeans or shorts.... But ever so often, we come face to face with a potentially life-changing choice. What do we do then?

I have always had the life-changing kind of choices made for me by circumstances. One of the potential choices usually just dropped out of contention and I was left with a clear path. Maybe it was just escapism on my part to let the choice drop out. Or maybe, I had already made up my mind subconsciously and thus, let the rejected option drop out. Either way, I don't regret any of the "decisions" (well...almost). But, recently I was faced with an important choice.

"There are two doors. The door to your right leads both to The Source and salvation of Zion. The door to your left leads back to the Matrix....The problem is choice". -Architect, The Matrix Reloaded.

Neither door was perfect in its promise but both opened equally wide. While one lead to a tough path that went through lot of new places, the smooth door lead to the comparatively simpler path in the backyard but well-made.I made the choice to take the door onto the tough path to the Matrix.

"Hope...It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness" -Architect, The Matrix Reloaded.

Having gone through this, I wonder how are we able to decide at all when we can never be sure of what the future holds for us. It is always a risk, a law of probability. Is there really anything called a "safe-choice"? Or is it just SAFER? But, I just contradicted this by choosing the riskier path. Is it just me being dumb?

“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing." - Leo F. Buscaglia (Not from The Matrix trilogy!)

"As you adequately put, the problem is choice". Architect, The Matrix Reloaded.

Or ..... its just an illusion. The Grand Unified Theory of Everything predicts exactly what your life is like. So you don't really have a choice as, in this universe, you couldn't have ever chosen that which you didn't choose.

"....You've already made your choice. You are here to understand it" - Oracle, The Matrix Reloaded.

P.S. : Something related to this....
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/lang/eng/dan_ariely_asks_are_we_in_control_of_our_own_decisions.html

Are we going the right way?

It finally hits home after two months. I'm in the most powerful nation in the world and it just elected a new leader, practically for the whole world. I can't help compare (forgive me for this impudence).

America has come a long way. From slavery to its first black president, this is a remarkable journey. While American people said "Yes, We Can", back home our notorious MNS said "No, We Won't". I read an article in the New York Times and came to know that, Mr. Raj Thackerey has been the centre-point of yet another furore. We cannot stand a person just from another state, let alone another religion, and we say "India, poised"...Poised with weapons to lunge at each others throats (?). (The article quoted someone saying, "Our own people are betraying us")!!

I'm not singing praises of USA as everybody else does. True, US society isn't all silver-lined. But, is it wrong to appreciate something that's genuinely good? With so many foreigners making a bee-line to this country, its really amazes me how tolerant the legal citizens are, especially after being exposed to the incidents of lathi charges back home. Compared to the MNS, the Americans seem to be angels. Of course there are lot of other factors, especially the availability of all resources here but still, the crux is we are being sensitive to petty issues. How should it matter who finds a job in which state? Aren't we all legal citizens of India? Some of my dearest friends are Maharashtrians and now are in various other states. I pray that they don't cross the path of some fanatic seeking revenge for all these incidents.

As Mahatma Gandhi said, one will be foolish to separate religion and politics. But, things are getting out of control. Instead of the spirit of nationalism (that we once read about in school textbooks), there's the spirit of regionalism and communalism. All these things are for the ultimate prize - regional vote banks. Petty things are now our breaking news while we say, "India is a growing super-power".

It really is upto us what we should choose to be concerned about. Obviously, "they" are doing all these "things" as they perceive that they stand to gain something. Are we all set to be influenced by such regional and "religional" fanatics? Are we all set to be wooed by them to make them our next leaders? Are we going the "right way"?

Another Experience

Its been sometime again. But, this time I have not been procrastinating. I'm now in another country!! The USA. Sometimes it fails to sink in and sometimes it hits you head on! Finally, I made it. After all the hiccups since I planned to take the GRE more than a year back.

Anyway, during the holidays, the 'Lights Out' Campaign came to Chennai. So I thought that I should propagate the message atleast to the people in my locality. So, I hung up a notice board on the tree outside my house.

I could see that atleast 6-7 people read the notice while walking down the road. But, when the time to switch off the lights came, even my closest neighbour (who could read the notice even from his balcony) did not switch off is lights. Of course, I don't how many actually did switch them off, but I sure did. Its really amusing how indifferent people can be. Agreed that everybody can't remember about Global Warming and stuff in everything they do. But, when there is a plea for your participation right underneath your nose, its difficult to ignore it, isn't it?

In fact, many people just walked right past the notice without even a glance. On the other hand, the kids who come to my Mom for tuitions noticed it right away even though it was way above their height and they should have walked right below it without noticing it. Kids are real observant!!

Anyway, the next day, the newspaper carried a report that the campaign was a huge success.

Good. There is a substantial crowd who are aware of their surroundings.

Betrayal

So this was just another day and I was going about my daily business at home. Along came a municipality truck and the cleaners and they knocked at our gate. Disregarding my mother's warnings, I opened the door and went outside to ask what they wanted. One of them, humbly asked that they just wanted to wash themselves at the tap and wanted some drinking water. I pointed to a tap outside our house and went in to get some water. I filled up a bottle and gave them the water.Then he asked whether they can have their lunch outside our gate. I said "of course". My mom warned me against all this. Then, all of a sudden, having finished thier lunch, they just vanished.
And they had left my tap half-running, left my gate open...and took my bottle away with them. I could not care less about the bottle but this is not done! I was reeling under a sense of betrayal while being subjected to well-earned scolding from dearest mum....:-(
No wonder people dont wanna help each other. I didnt expect any favour in return for what i did but just basic respect to the things I lent.I didnt get even that....I will not let this make me turn my back on someone who needs my help in the future. Nevertheless, it has left its mark.....Point Taken!

Well.....as i said...Procrastination got the better of me yet again.
I was going through my friend divya's blog (Diva's Dreamworld) and her post about street children....That reminded me of an incident tht took place about a week back.
I was returning from NARI(National AIDS Research Institute) after my day's work. This guy stopped me and asked something.I didn't get him at first and thought his tone was pretty rude.But then he repeated his question.Then I heard him clearly...He was asking me whether the clinic at NARI is still open.Then I noticed, that he was pretty sick.
I answered him that it might be and he should go and check.When he left, I realized he most probably was HIV positive,that the clinic he mentioned was just down the corridor from where I work in the lab, and the fact that the work I'm involved isn't gonna help him in any way at all!!!!
I feel quite smug that I'm actually working on HIV but this thing shook me...Realities of life.....
I know the answers..that somewhere further down my work might help ultimately....
Firstly....stop dreaming...
Secondly, there are so many people doing scientific research just for the heck of it.
The reports my classmates bring in from their labs in other national institutes really makes me wonder.....People like this guy are dying out there...and here people come in at 10...go for tea-come back-chat-go for lunch-chat again, work a bit-tea at 4-leave for home at 5.....end of days play!!!!!
and now I'm all set to join the system myself.....only time will tell whether I can change the system or survive the system or be consumed by it........

Finally

Ok..... Here I am!!!! I have been thinking of penning down my thoughts for a long time now...
Haven't been able to do it until now....It took a laptop and a dedicated Internet connetion (even though temporary) to motivate me to start a blog.
But why should I write? I mean they are my thoughts. So, I don't need to write them to realise them. Well, try karne mein kya harz hai? First, an introduction about me to my blog. My biggest asset is my strength of Procrastination!!! That "ho jayega" attitude is gonna kill me someday. But i just can't do anything but at the last minute. I actually take pride in it!! Not a very good thing though. Off late, I have felt that I am changing. That casual air that I used to have is going. The "adult thing" is setting in. Yerch!!!!! Something what Calvin would undoubtedly say to that. hmm.....I'll sign out for now....I'll come back if i win over my procrastination....
Bye Blog.....
P.S. What does one accomplish by blogging?