The serenity of an evening

It was one of those evenings. You know... the ones, where everything seems to slow down and take a deep breath. When everything seems to be moving at just the right pace, everything seems to be revelling in the moment. A cool breeze flowed through, so gentle,... that when it flowed over you, you felt like you were being caressed with barely touching fingertips. Every breath seemed to add a new vigour, new life. It was really a rejuvenating feeling. The clarity of the evening all around reflected in my thoughts as well .... I already had a spring in my step by now.

I was out with my new toy, my camera, excited to try it out. Boy, was I glad to be outdoors. I reached the hill behind my university in hope of getting some good shots of the setting sun. And there I was, completely captivated by the serenity of it all. It was the whole setting that made the magic and I knew immediately that I was never going to capture in just photographs.

This is what I saw... no, experienced. The sun was setting in brilliant colours. I imagined that if it was a real person, it would be giving out a sigh after being satisfied with a hard day's work, sigh of thinking about reclining with a hot cup of coffee. A little distance away, a young couple were leaning against a tree on the hill slope. The nice evening, and being in each other's company had evidently lifted up their spirits. They were all playful and smiling and completely engrossed in their own world of two. A guy was sitting on the hill-top, not far from where I stood, and was strumming away smoothly on his guitar. He was simply playing his favourite tunes. And coincidentally, a guy farther down the hill was taking stroll singing a soft, chinese song, completely oblivious to his contribution to the evening.

Now, how was I ever going to capture the whole mood with just my camera. I never could have. It is the blending of all these small, nice things that adds taste to the delicacy, called life. The singer was too far away downhill, and I dared not approach the couple and spoil their moment. So, I approached the guitarist of the evening for a photograph. He readily agreed. So I did manage to capture something of the evening's essence other than just scenery.

Thus, feeling triumphant of approaching a stranger for a photograph successfully and having experienced the unique blend of a moment of life, I was reminded of the line from the movie American Beauty -

You can't be mad for long because there is so much beauty out there.

Images: Santosh

This is it

November 1996. Michael Jackson had come for a concert in Mumbai. I was an ardent fan, all of 10 years old. Cursed everything in sight for why wouldn't he do a concert where I was - Chennai. That's a big city, isn't it? No cable TV - so couldn't see the concert on TV either (did Doordarshan cover it?)

Well, next time. Somewhere, I'll attend his concert. I consoled myself.

I came to the US. Passing thought was - "I maybe a little closer to that elusive MJ concert". Then, MJ announces his London concerts. Aargh.... why not where I am?! But I hoped, that since he's starting concerts again, he might do one or two in the US. Alas, it was never meant to be....

One of the things I'm proud of about myself is I can dance pretty well. And Michael Jackson was my role model for my dancing. I copied his moves as a kid. (Also, Prabhu Deva -  who also idolized MJ!) I grew up, moved onto other kinds of music but MJ was still the childhood fascination. Just last week, I was at a soiree and the DJ played "The way you make me feel". I felt myself moving to the dance floor spontaneously. The DJ played a few more MJ hits, "Thriller", "Billie Jean" and "Beat it" during the night and I danced to all of them. After years.... it was childish satisfaction.

November 2009. Thirteen years after. I read about "This is it". A film made with rehearsal footages. I watched it today. Watched MJ make the same moves as he did years ago. Listened to those childhood songs again performed "live". He truly was, King of Pop.

The closest I'll ever get to a Michael Jackson concert. This is it.

- An MJ fan.

Storm Chasing

It was just another stint of returning home from lab. But, it rained and I was on my bike (read bicycle). Something snapped. Probably buried under too many restraints and thoughts of late, the spirit within awakened. Just yesterday, it had strained at its leash and sent me on a 12-mile bike ride. Today, the weakened leash just gave way.
I was nearing my home and the rain was threatening to stop. How dare the rain stop?.... Reached home, ran upstairs, dropped off my backpack and rushed back down, grabbed the bike and set off. I started in a direction I hadn't explored much and then, I saw them. The ominous looking clouds looming over the horizon. "Yes, I am coming for you!"
The rain had thinned down to a drizzle. But, I rode on. No sign of the rain intensifying. I was starting to give up on trying to chase down the storm and was settling down to "just a ride in the rain". At that moment, the road slanted downhill. I shifted up on the gears, and was  gathering speed. And I felt it. The rain. Splattering me on the face like pinpricks. {Hear hear, you owners of bikes (read motorbikes)}. I had caught up with the storm .... or it had come for me. I rode faster and the rain pounded me. It was like a staring game. There was lightning, thunder and the storm blinked. It was exhilarating, relieving. Ahh!
Now I'm back in my room, muscles aching with sweet pain, with a hot cup of coffee writing this experience. Some experience.......
Now I know what drives those storm chasers. I did my first storm chasing...

The Problem is Choice

As Neo says in The Matrix Reloaded, the problem really is choice. At every instant, as we go by our lives, we make a choice. "Its time to get up" or "Just a few minutes more"...Coffee or tea...Wear jeans or shorts.... But ever so often, we come face to face with a potentially life-changing choice. What do we do then?

I have always had the life-changing kind of choices made for me by circumstances. One of the potential choices usually just dropped out of contention and I was left with a clear path. Maybe it was just escapism on my part to let the choice drop out. Or maybe, I had already made up my mind subconsciously and thus, let the rejected option drop out. Either way, I don't regret any of the "decisions" (well...almost). But, recently I was faced with an important choice.

"There are two doors. The door to your right leads both to The Source and salvation of Zion. The door to your left leads back to the Matrix....The problem is choice". -Architect, The Matrix Reloaded.

Neither door was perfect in its promise but both opened equally wide. While one lead to a tough path that went through lot of new places, the smooth door lead to the comparatively simpler path in the backyard but well-made.I made the choice to take the door onto the tough path to the Matrix.

"Hope...It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness" -Architect, The Matrix Reloaded.

Having gone through this, I wonder how are we able to decide at all when we can never be sure of what the future holds for us. It is always a risk, a law of probability. Is there really anything called a "safe-choice"? Or is it just SAFER? But, I just contradicted this by choosing the riskier path. Is it just me being dumb?

“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing." - Leo F. Buscaglia (Not from The Matrix trilogy!)

"As you adequately put, the problem is choice". Architect, The Matrix Reloaded.

Or ..... its just an illusion. The Grand Unified Theory of Everything predicts exactly what your life is like. So you don't really have a choice as, in this universe, you couldn't have ever chosen that which you didn't choose.

"....You've already made your choice. You are here to understand it" - Oracle, The Matrix Reloaded.

P.S. : Something related to this....
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/lang/eng/dan_ariely_asks_are_we_in_control_of_our_own_decisions.html